WHERE DO YOU STORE YOUR FEARS?
I think I tuck my fears safely away in some unused corner of my brain where they will sit nicely until I can process them later – when I slow down – after the kids go to bed – maybe next month or next year. Much to my surprise, my fears have this sneaky way of inserting themselves into some innocent event and erupting from nowhere.
Something like this…I notice that it’s trash day and Joel (that’s my husband) forgot to take the trash to the curb before he left for work. I spend the entire time I’m cooking dinner thinking about how stinky the trash is, how this is the week we are having company and they will smell it, and how this is the one week it really needed the trash to go away. Joel, beware! Don’t come home! When you walk in the door, I’ll erupt with a tirade on the evils of unpicked-up trash. But beneath the surface, my fear of financial ruin stemming from a sudden decrease in my income became secretly linked into this benign “trash problem”. My poor husband receives battlefield-intense emotion over an easy-to-solve trash issue.
When will I learn how to manage these fears in a more godly way? I read something pretty cool this morning about Hezekiah, a king talked about in the Bible. Talk about fears. An enemy who was much stronger than his people surrounded him. In fact, the enemy had written a letter describing just how cruelly they were going to destroy the people. Did Hezekiah take the “stuff it and process it later” approach? No way. He took the actual physical letter, and the Bible says, “he spread it out before the Lord” and prayed. He didn’t just talk to God but he pointed to the letter and said, “Lord, see this? The enemy says they are going to get us. Would you take care of this problem in such a grand way that the world knows that you are the only God?” (my paraphrase)
Maybe Hezekiah was on to something there. What if I actually wrote down my fears and showed them to God? What if I physically, tangibly held my fear out before Him and asked Him to fix it in such a grand way so that everyone involved would know that only He could have done it. I think Hezekiah was on to something.
Looks like I’ve got some “fear transfer’ to do. I’ll transfer my fears to the One who can do something about it so that I am free to do what He has for me today, which will probably mean a much more “welcome home” for Joel on those trash days!